Dan Aykroyd: True Canadian Hero

First, let me answer what I know you are probably thinking - yes, Dan Aykroyd is from Canada. He was born in Ottawa.

Now since that is taken care of, I would like to share my thoughts and overwhleming adoration for whom I consider to be one of the more underrated, underappreciated comedic actors of all time (well, from about 1980 - 1995).

My affinity for Mr. Aykroyd began about midway through college. I had seen a few of his movies and SNL skits by this time in my life, but had never truly appreciated his acting repertoire until I saw Nothing But Trouble. I give large amounts of praise to one of my college roommates who shared this hidden gem with me during our sophomore year. Since then, he and I have both had overwhelming support of all things Dan A. and would spend countless hours reciting his quotes from masterpieces like: The Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters, The Great Outdoors, Coneheads, Trading Places and the SNL skit Two Wild and Crazy Guys with Steve Martin.

Nothing But Trouble is a film of which few are aware. But anyone with a soft spot for Aykroyd's antics will surely find this flick fantastic. Aykroyd's knack for spewing several incoherent, explicitly long, unconnectable words is certainly apparent in this classic. But because my movie review skills are completely inferior to one, Matt Dreamboat, I'll stop there and instead offer you the IDMB plot summary verbatim (please note that Tupac is also in this movie):

"A businessman (Chevy Chase) finds he and his friends the prisoners of a sadistic judge (Dan Aykroyd) and his equally odd family in the backwoods of a bizarre mansion."

I would be remiss if I failed to mention a couple of my favorite lines from the Judge himself:

"Well, all I know is in '17 after they shipped me off to fight, some New York financier rolled in here one day and hog-glowsered and tub-wankled my grandfather into mining out the whole town in exchange for shares in something called the United Coke Company. Do you know what those stock certificates are worth today? JUST ABOUT THE FINEST OUTHOUSE WALLPAPER YOU'VE EVER SEEN! We were forced to become what you drove through today; a burnt out coal field and the biggest icebox graveyard this side of the Ohio foundry belt! And that's why I *never* let a banker go!"


"Hula hula hula. Bula bula bula. Look who's got the front seats to the Mexican hat dance now. Just like a bunch of spiders in a birthday cake!"


I wont go into much more detail regarding any of the other aformentioned movies. I just hope the people who read this will give a try at queuing up their Netflix for Nothing But Trouble and any other Aykroyd flicks you haven't seen. It will open up your creative mind and make you wonder why today's comedies aren't nearly as good. 


So what is Aykroyd up to these days?

• Making his own wine
• Making his own vodka
• Studying UFO's
• Making music

To summarize, if you are looking impress friends at a party with some great movie lines that no one has ever heard of, I would highly suggest running through the filmography of Dan Aykroyd and catching the unforgettable one-liners from which his Hollywood career was created.


~Geno

Undisputed 3: Our generation's Citizen Kane

The first of what will hopefully be a recurring segment here at the VA Gentlemen Blog, movie reviews by our resident and long time movie critic...Dreamboat.  For those of you who are not familiar with Dream, he is a man of simple pleasures.  He loves beef jerky, video games, and...well...is probably the greatest appreciator of this:

Enough introduction, you'll get to know him soon enough.  Without further ado... 

If you are wondering whether you need to have seen Undisputed 1 or 2 to understand what is happening in Undisputed 3, the answer is no. In fact, I’d recommend not seeing them. I’d recommend unlearning any of your knowledge of mixed martial arts. And I’d definitely forget anything you thought you knew about post-Soviet state correctional facility prison fighting tournaments (I smell a great premise for a Locked Up Abroad episode).

Undisputed 3 tells the tale of Yuri Boyka, the most fit janitor ever and self-proclaimed “world’s greatest prison fighter” (wow Yuri, brag much?), fighting his way through a single-elimination prison fighting tournament against representatives from across the globe. It’s basically Punch-Out meets The Quest (please tell me I’m not the only one to have seen this movie) times Shawshank Redemption. Seriously, there’s even a budding black guy-white guy friendship. But Red Redding and Andy Dufresne these two are not.

Every character we meet at the “maximum security prison” (it’s literally called that in the film), is some sort of stereotype. I say “some sort”, because there are obvious stereotypes in this film, and then there are those that teach you something new about a culture and/or make you yell “WTF?” For instance, you have the fat Italian Mafioso with a New York accent, a Korean who utilizes taekwondo, a Brazilian fighting with capoeira, an African-American who fights during rap music – cultural clichés we’re all familiar with. Then, you have the weird ones, like a testy Columbian in a Georgian prison who uses steroids and likes to read. There was no background or reasoning provided for any of his behavior. What sort of fascinating philosophical literature were you reading anyways? The director features the Columbian's book so prominently and never expands on it. Are we to respect the Columbian for being well-read? Or hate him for cheating? Tell me how to feel, director man! That leads me to my next complaint. The character types are so conflicting to the viewer in this “film”. Do we root for the moody protagonist or the annoying American? This mixed bag of emotions we feel doesn't happen because this film is a thought-provoking mind-f*ck featuring excellent direction. It happens because the character development is so lazy and incomplete.

Actually, that can be said about the entire movie as a whole. I didn’t go in expecting Academy Award-winning stuff from a movie I’m almost positive went straight to DVD, but, c’mon guys. If you have the time to film impressive and complicated fight scenes (and they were), take your time with the filler, too. I get the feeling the director assumed everyone would just fast-forward to the fighting and skip the rest of his movie. He fails to explain a lot of things, even though ridiculously expository dialogue would not have been out of place at Maximum Security Prison. Fast-forwarding will save you some time, but the filler parts are where things get fun. After looking what I wrote down during this film, you will see what I mean.

Hotel Deluxe – Best Fake Hotel Name Ever. No, I'm not a movie reviewer, but I did stay at a Hotel Deluxe last night

The Italian guy is eating a Panini

Even the prison death fight circuit is rampant with steroid abuse

The black guy’s name is Turbo and they play rap when he fights

If he injects his neck with steroids, why did they give him a tourniquet? For jerking it? Of course.

Magic flowers that heel your bum knee found at a prison labor rock-breaking facility – WTF?

To say Undisputed 3 is a good movie would be a discredit to other movies I think are good.  But it’s not all bad, either. It was fun. It’s so bad it was good, but certainly not on purpose. Undisputed 3 is a cheeseburger with donuts for buns: Some parts of it are awesome, though they don’t work that well together, you won’t eat it again, and you won’t brag that you did.

Stay Classy Internets,

~ Dreamboat