A Suitable Meal

Easter Sunday is upon us.  A time for guilt-filled trips to Mass, demolishing younger family members in egg hunts, candy, and celebratory meals.  When it comes to Easter dinner, there is one meat to rule them all -- ham.

Unfortunately, my studies have kept me from celebrating at home with my family.  Thus, I have been forced to make dinner for myself -- a meal suitable to satisfy the hunger that comes from Gentlemanly pursuits.  So, for the first time in quite some time, open wide, 'cause here comes a food post.

Green Bean Casserole

I opted to start with the casserole, as it takes longer to make.  Green bean casserole couldn't be simpler to make, and the recipe is on the back of any cream of mushroom or french fried onions can.  Take two cans of green beans, a can of cream of mushroom soup, and a can of french fried onions.  Mix the soup and beans together in a casserole dish and sprinkle some french fried onions on top.  You can also add some cheddar cheese and bread crumbs on top if you'd like more of a crust.  Put in the oven at 350 for half an hour.  With five minutes to go, add the remaining onions.  The final result looks something like this.

Ham Steak

Instead of messing around with baking and basting a whole ham, a ham steak is sufficient for one.  I opted for a maple-flavored one, but you can also get them in honey or unflavored.  Stick it on the grill for about ten minutes, and you wind up with something like this.

So there you have it.  A quick and painless Easter dinner.  Hope your holiday is an enjoyable one, and remember to stay fresh.

--J.J. Gittes

New Springtime Soul

With temperatures consistently in the 60s, spring finally appears to be here for good in the nation's capital.  To take incredible artistic license with Tennyson's work, if I may, it's a time when a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of baseball and John Dalys.  Since having your windows open at night and having a drink or two on the porch will undoubtedly have you feeling good, you might as well have some feel-good jams to add to your soundtrack for weekends to come.

1) "Representing Memphis" by Booker T. Jones (feat. Sharon Jones and Matt Berninger)

Organist Booker T. Jones, best known for his 60s hit instrumental "Green Onions," has had a renaissance lately.  His 2009 album, Potato Hole, had the Drive-By Truckers and Neil Young serving as his backing band and featured a decent cover of Outkast's "Hey Ya."  The Road from Memphis comes out in May and is produced by ?uestlove of the Roots, whom he recently played with on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.  "Representing Memphis" is the first single from the album, which features a duet from an unlikely duo.  Matt Berninger of the National has a great voice and gets an A for effort, but the star of the show is clearly Sharon Jones.  Somehow, it works.  By my estimation, it ranks up there with "Easy Lover" as one of the great unlikely black-white duets of all time.



2) "100 Yard Dash" by Raphael Saadiq

While we're on the topic of second acts, Raphael Saadiq has had one of his own.  In his early 20s he was the front man of of the reasonably successful late 80s-early 90s R&B group Tony! Toni! Toné!, but has successfully reinvented himself in recent years to great acclaim as a soul throwback.  On 2008's The Way I See It, he shows that he's got the look and the sound down pat.  See for yourself.



3) "Another Day" by Jamie Lidell

It's no great secret that blue-eyed soul is greatly appreciated at the Virginia Gentleman's Club.  Jim is proudly carrying the torch for the genre over in England.  Although he has a number of mega jams, this the one that's most likely to put the seasonal spring in your step.



If you've liked what you've heard, I highly recommend looking into any of the artists mentioned in a great New York Times Magazine article from last year, which asks the eternal question -- "Can a Nerd Have Soul?"

With my first final two weeks from today, I will no longer be able to pull a Greg Jennings for the blog.  With the possible exception of something I have in mind for Easter Sunday, that's all for me for the semester.  Until mid-May, you take care.

--J.J. Gittes

Past Story Roundup + Name of the Year Bracket

There has been enough development on topics of previous posts of ours that we've compiled the updates that on their own would not be sufficiently lengthy for one post into a roundup post.  The purpose is twofold: 1) to make the newer members of our exponentially growing readership (because going from three to nine technically counts as exponential growth) of prior stories and 2) to quickly yet lazily provide something resembling new content.

So without further ado:

1) The Potential Nicknames for a High School Post

In a smart move, given the amount of handwringing there's been over the merger of Reading's Holy Name and Central Catholic High Schools, the Diocese of Allentown let each school's students pick the nickname and colors of their new school.  Their choice? The Berks Catholic Saints, who will don the black and gold.  No word on whether they will entirely disregard trademark law and go with the fleur-de-lis as their logo.  Perhaps if they use the little-known Jay Leno logo I'd be more amenable to it--otherwise, follow the lead of another small Catholic school.  Canine mascots are all the rage these days, and plus, the star of Beethovehen could use the work.

I'm sure he could use the work, too.

2) The Mac & Cheese & Hot Dogs & Sriracha Post
I've been making mac and cheese with sriracha since the fall as a staple of college football games.  This winter, some cookbook comes out with what I'm sure is an inferior recipe.  He'll be hearing from my lawyer, fo sho.

3) The Hypertheticals Post
Chuck Klosterman, the celebrated essayist and creative force behind Hypertheticals, has recently appeared on the B.S. Report and WTF with Marc Maron, which the venerable Ira Glass has described as "the New York Times of comedy podcasts."

4) The Turquoise Jeep Records Post

Just in case our endorsement of the Turquoise Jeep Records family didn't sell you, perhaps two additional celebrity endorsements will.  First, Donald Glover, of Community and 30 Rock fame, is a fan.  Second, internet maven and friend of the program, Adam Fudala, is doing his part to keep the jeep ridin' as a result of the through the generosity of some mystery patron.

Did he mention he likes to dance?

We'll leave you with one new bit of content.  As we've made abundantly clear, we're fans of great names and March Madness.  Here's the best of both worlds: the Name of the Year Bracket, an annual event that is the methodone that weens us off of analyzing matchups and picking upsets.  Deadspin's Drew Magary and Every Day Should Be Saturday's Spencer Hall provide great commentary on the competition.  My pick for this year's Final Four: Rockwell Bonecutter, Crusoe Gongbay, Taco B.M. Monster, and Madz Negro.  What about you?

--J.J. Gittes

The Virginia Gentlemen Endorse: Turquoise Jeep Records

Parody has a rich tradition when it comes to popular music.  In this modern age, there is a group that has harnessed the power of the Internet to make their sweet beats, dance moves, and ground-breaking videos an intergalactic phenomenon--The Turqoise Jeep Records family.

Turquoise Jeep Records, much like the 2011 Phillies rotation, features four all-star talents and another guy who is objectively talented and a necessary member of the team, but not as talented as his teammates.  The Kyle Kendrick is Turquoise Jeep's Joe Blanton is Slick Mahony, who provides the closest thing the group has to blue-eyed soul.  Turquoise Jeep's Four Horsemen are: Flynt Flossy, the group's top dancer and rapper; Pretty Raheem, the big-boned crooner; Yung Humma, the driving force behind "Smang" (which will be dicussed below); and the reclusive Tummi Scratch, the beat-maker and producer.

The men that keep the jeep ridin'.

However, my clever metaphors will only go so far in convincing you about the majesty of Turquoise Jeep.  Without further ado, here are their greatest hits of their short but brilliant career:

1) "Wifey Boo" by Pretty Raheem

Pretty Raheem shows us that he's more than just a pretty face, he's a hell of a dancer (especially for a man of his build).  Also of note, Flynt Flossy's declaration that he's going to heat that ass up like a beef and rice Lean Cusine.



2) "Cavities" by Flynt Flossy, Pretty Raheem, and Whatchyamacallit

This is notable for the rare appearance by Whatchyamacallit, Turquoise Jeep's equivalent of Kyle Kendrick, the spot starter who does a serviceable job when needed, but doesn't have the talent to stick around the big leagues for long.



3) "Lemme Smang It" by Yung Humma and Flynt Flossy

This is the smash (and bang) hit.  "Lemme smang it, girl" has easily replaced "What's your screen name?" or "Did you happen to catch the Reading Phillies / Erie Seawolves score?" as the Gentleman's pickup line of choice.  Peep this and you'll see why.



4) "Go Grab My Belt" by Slick Mahony

A Slick Mahony video is like a start by the fifth starter--it's not a great Turquoise Jeep jam, but it's still a Turquoise Jeep jam, and that's better than a lot of other things.



5) "Did I Mention I Like to Dance?" by Flynt Flossy

This is the most recent Turqoise Jeep release, which is essentially three minutes of Flynt Flossy going nuts while wearing a fantastic windsuit.  Prepare to be amazed.



Flynt Flossy's moves are both awe-inspiring yet depressing, as one cannot help but to think that mere mortals cannot reach such heights.  Fear not, as F.Floss is a humanitarian as well and wishes for us to achieve a mere fraction of his greatness.  Behold, a snippet of "Flow with the Floss."



--J.J. Gittes